There are only 5 days remaining in my third year of medical school. I don’t know where the time has gone. While preparing for my final exam in pediatrics, I’ve also been a bit overwhelmed by the responsibilities that lie ahead. My fourth year schedule is a bit up in the air right now as I shuffle various electives to try to solidify the “strategy” behind my schedule. I find that there are not enough months in the fourth year to do all of the electives that I want to do. Fourth year is generally seen as a fun and relatively relaxed year (especially the second half when residency applications are submitted and interviews are over). However, as I look ahead, I know that this upcoming year is the last year where I will not be responsible for patient care. I have been providing patient care all year, but not nearly as independently as I will during my intern year. It’s scary to think of that. Also, I continue to struggle with my residency choices. I am sure that I love surgery, but not sure that I am willing to give up the other components in my life to the degree that will likely to necessary. I don’t know where I belong. I want to look back on my choice and say that it was correct, that I would do it all over again. I want to lead a happy, fulfilling life. I don’t want my life to be my work. I want work to be a rewarding part of my life. This is an ongoing conflict in my head. I’m trying to work it out. I’m trying to become centered in myself and in the world around me. I’m doing yoga. I’ve made a serious decision to commit to daily meditation. I’m hoping that these efforts will help me find my path.
On Friday, I presented my first academic poster. It was on a survey study that my friend and I conducted on healthcare worker decision-making styles (medical students, residents, fellows, attending doctors, nurses, social workers, and Ph.D.s). It went very well and we’re looking forward to writing our manuscript. I think that we have an excellent chance of getting published – which would be awesome. It is so rewarding when work pays off.
Starting next Thursday, I will be taking my first guitar class at the Old Town School of Folk Music. I essentially taught myself guitar (with the help of a few friends), and I’ve stagnated in my progress. I’m hoping to pick up some new skills and meet some new people. I’m always looking to hang out with non-medical people.
In one week (during my medical school vacation), I have a three day long intensive ethics consultation course. The course actually lasts several weeks, but most of it is online. I’m really looking forward to practicing my consultation skills. I haven’t lead a consultation since before medical school. I’m also excited to hear how other people have been trained – what works for them, what has been troublesome, effective, etc. I think that there are so many ways to do it well and I’m happy to have the opportunity to see more than my limited viewpoint.